innards...and white stuff

2003-03-19T10:39:00.000-08:00

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uslatest/story/0,1282,-2491954,00.html

Justice Bans Media From Free Speech Event

Wednesday March 19, 2003 2:50 PM

CLEVELAND (AP) - Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia banned broadcast
media from an appearance Wednesday where he will receive an award for
supporting free speech.

The City Club usually tapes speakers for later broadcast on public television,
but Scalia insisted on banning television and radio coverage, the club said.
Scalia is being given the organization's Citadel of Free Speech Award.

``I might wish it were otherwise, but that was one of the criteria that he had for
acceptance,'' said James Foster, the club's executive director.

The ban on broadcast media, ``begs disbelief and seems to be in conflict with
the award itself,'' C-SPAN vice president and executive producer Terry
Murphy wrote in a letter last week to the City Club. ``How free is speech if
there are limits to its distribution?''

The City Club selected Scalia because he has ``consistently, across the
board, had opinions or led the charge in support of free speech,'' Foster said.

Cameras and recording devices are banned from the Supreme Court
chamber, and Scalia prefers not to have camera coverage in other settings,
said Kathleen Arberg, spokeswoman for the court.

Scalia made the same demand on John Carroll University, where he spoke
Tuesday night. He talked mostly about the constitutional protection of
religions, but also said that government has room to scale back individual
rights during wartime without violating the Constitution.

``The Constitution just sets minimums,'' Scalia said. ``Most of the rights that
you enjoy go way beyond what the Constitution requires.''

2003-03-18T15:19:00.000-08:00

Nearly one month after Sean McCarthy declared the death of http://whitestuff.blogspot.com, I am here to revive this beast!

Here are the good things that happened to me today:

- I woke up feeling significantly better than I had going to bed last night. Still not sure why I felt so bad. I only had four bratwursts, two beers, and a glass of water…perhaps it was the water.

- The world has not come to an end.

- The flowers that I sent to my girlfriend in Philadelphia arrived today. She asked why I sent them and I told her that she is pretty.

- The flowers that I sent to my girlfriend arrived wilted and they gave me a full refund on them! Now I can spend the $50.00 on more bratwurst!

- I learned how to use Anne and Sean's rice cooker yesterday and I told everyone how to make rice today. Sweet, huh?

Here are the bad things that happened to me today:

- Work

And lets start a new poll! Here's the first question: Should Fred become a home owner? Okay, I don’t have any money, but I think that it would be neat to own a home. I would even let Sean and Jennifer come over to eat bratwurst and maybe sausages.

Finally, I paid Sean McCarthy for my Notwist ticket--making me an official Notwist fan!

2003-02-19T12:02:00.000-08:00

Hello.

2003-02-07T11:10:00.000-08:00

The Chipp Inn: A fine place to have a front row seat for bangers dealin' tha dope. And they serve Hamms and have really cool beer signs.

Off to go look up Old Chicago beer.

2003-02-07T07:34:00.000-08:00

I just took this personality test. I think my result is spot on.

Type 4 - The Individualist

The introspective, romantic type. Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.

2003-01-29T13:56:00.000-08:00

I still haven't figured out what to do with myself since www.suck.com stopped publishing. Sure, there is simpleton.com, a web site by Tim Cavanaugh (who co-founded Suck), but it is updated with even less frequency than this site and lacks the biting pop culture commentary and refreshingly un-ironic writing that made Suck so great.

Okay, so they left us with fresh fodder on www.plastic.com, but it lets people like me and you post and, quite frankly (don’t fuck with frank), we come off like pompous blowhards.

Suck.com set the standard for internet composition. It was the first to use links as punctuation (which I am doing right now) and they even went so far as to link the word sellout right back to their own site.

Best of all, Suck prefigured this damn cultural juggernaut: The Blog making us information age gentrifiers and Blogger.com the web's Wicker Park and new wireless technology Pilsen.

2003-01-26T12:00:00.000-08:00

The Notwist! In April! The Notwist! In April! The! Not!Wist! In! April!

good. god. i. can't. wait.

wheeeeeee!

I've been at work all weekend. Soma is not happy with me in the least.

Reckless Purchases this weekend: Aloha-Sugar, Shrimp Boat-Duende, Tahiti 80-the newest one, Braid-Frankie Welfare Boy Age Five, The Smiths-Singles Vol. 1, Best of the Clash.

Movies Watched this weekend: St. Elmo's Fire, Ture Believer, Party Girl, The opposite of Sex, Buffalo '66.

I put $20 into my work's Superbowl Pool. I hope i win!

Yargh! Go Bucanneers! Yargh!

2003-01-24T15:20:00.000-08:00

2003-01-20T12:33:00.000-08:00

I hang out in my house with Fred Soma Nelson, the sweetest cat ever.

I would not recommend seeing Interpol. Listen to the cd at home real loud with a red lightbulb in a lamp. Same thing.

I would recommend seeing 90 Day Men at the Hideout on Wednesday.

I would recommend being sad about the dismemberment plan breaking up. boo.

I would recommend having a drink with your friend when it is said friend's birthday and she says she's going to a bar alone. Go. Have a drink with her. My roommate did not do this, and it made me a sad and lonely drunk that evening. Stupid non-friend.

I would recommend Ikea. Ikea is the best. Yay for unboring things.

I would also recommend cookies. Especially those of the Girl Scout persuasion.

2003-01-20T11:19:00.000-08:00

so much for the riveting blogging that was promised in the early days. pitchfork is off for the day, so i have a couple minutes during lunch to complain about the horrible Lilys show. it was bad. dont see the Lilys.
where the hell do people hang out now that tumans is gone?
do theyt all sit home & play PS2 on the internet?

2003-01-10T11:06:00.000-08:00

T.S. Elliot must have been thinking about Tuman's when he wrote his miserably bleak poem, "The Hollow Men." One stanza in particular comes to mind:

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

After several aborted last nights, the beloved Tuman's was shuttered yesterday. The word's "LAAAASSSSTTT CAAAALLLLLLL" must have been bellowed one last time on Wednesday night as I gently slumbered, indifferent to the world changing events that were taking place 200 feet from my head.

Sniff sniff. Oh woe is me.

Anyway, I am going to rock to the luscious pop melodies of Archer Prewitt tonight, and to the unrequited, forlorn, and deeply depressed rock of sparklehorse along with the luaka bop beats of tortoise at the Metro tomorrow. What's that you say? You want to worship the ground that I walk on? Ummmm, okay. I'll let you do it just this once.

2003-01-08T13:06:00.000-08:00

Damn. My heart should be in Tip-Top shape then!

And i wasn't creeping around your house last night. i was merely walking down the street.

sean is too good for me.

2003-01-08T13:00:00.000-08:00

Moderate drinking was about as good for the heart as an hour of exercise a
day. Not drinking at all was as bad for the heart as morbid obesity..

2003-01-08T11:11:00.000-08:00

I am going to Tuman on thursday night. Fred & I have a date.
I still havent seen the Ring, or Adaptation, or About Schmidt, I have seen Nicolas Nickelby though. It was ok.
I bought an iBook for myself for christmas. Its been a pain in the ass & I still dont have it in my hands yet. I watched the Steve Jobs keynote speech yesterday like the nerd that I am & I found it interesting.
I am usually very busy at work. Is that bad?

2003-01-08T10:59:00.000-08:00

Ah ha! So you were the peeping tom creeping around my building last night. I bet you didn’t know that my reaching for a can of Pepsi would give you away. I think that Watergate happened the same way.

Where is Sean? Is he dead or just too good to take part in the conversation? Maybe is that he will chime in with something about having 'real' work to do or something. Bah humbug, I say.

Should I become a Park Ranger? They get to wear neat hats, you know.

2003-01-08T07:11:00.000-08:00

I spy with my little eye a shadowy-looking figure named Fred!

Tuman's is now open indefinitely. They don't know when they are going to close.

2003-01-07T12:23:00.000-08:00

yes, i was not at tuman's last night. when i found out that they were not closing their doors forever last night, i decided to stay home. i will most likely stop in there for a beer tonight.

i get to see interpol in a few days.

my birthday is in 10 days. i damn well better get presents!

2003-01-07T12:07:00.000-08:00

Interesting lack of Jennifer at Tuman's last night. I sat at the bar looking expectantly every single time the door opened. I did so until midnight when they ran out of beer and ordered everyone, including yours truly, out of the bar. Of course, Sean, crapped out over the phone, saying, "I'll meet you there Thursday." Once again, I sat, alone, my tears refilling the bottle as fast as I could drink the beer. Certainly, it was a sad sight, but gets repeated day after day and night after night. I've grown so numbed to it that the tears don’t even hurt me any more, they only hurt everyone around me who experiences them with me.

I guess that it wasn’t too much of a letdown, the bar didn’t close for good last night. It will close its doors for the final time on Thursday, January 9th, 2003. I guess that I will sit at the bar alone, tears filling my beer as fast as I drink it, just like I do every night. Someone hold me…please. Sean? Jennifer? Cory? Soma?

In other news, I have decided that as soon as I win the lottery, I will give the Innards enough money to take a year or two off work and read the great works. Sound good? Great. Let's roll.

2003-01-07T12:06:00.000-08:00

I sort of think of myself as an enigmatic cultural icon.

2003-01-07T10:55:00.000-08:00

Fred Nelson: Cultural Icon or Enigma??

2003-01-03T14:43:00.000-08:00

2003 has started off pretty shitty. i expected more from the year whose number add up to my lucky number of 5. woke up new years day with a horrible cold. could have been worse, i suppose...it wasn't a horrible hang over. at least i get to see interpol in a matter of days now. that will make me squeal like a 12 year old girl.

i'm wearing a pretty dress today. swishy!!

go to tuman's on the 6th, y'all. i hear it's its last day alive. where will all of the roaches live. won't someone PLEASE THINK OF THE ROACHES!!!!

2003-01-03T08:56:00.000-08:00

Okay here's my first ever year start list:

Three foods that I look forward to eating: hot dogs (with chili), chili (with hot dogs), chilidogs.

Three places that I look forward to going: the Garfield Park Conservatory, the Frank Lloyd Wright house in Evanston, the bathroom.

Fashion mistake that I plan on making: paisley shirts and red pants.

Fashion trend that I plan on starting: paisley shirts and red pants.

Number of Cory purrs: infinite

Number of hugs Cory will receive: infinite

Rainbo Club calendars in my apartment: Zero

Rainbo Club calendars in my place of employment: Two

Credit Cards that will get paid off: Three

Creditors that will be sad to lose my business: Three

Number of times that I will turn off NPR and think, "Damn, white folks really are crackers.": 365.

Number of times that I will walk into J.Crew and think "Damn, white folks really are crackers.": 6

Number of times that I will buy a cd of the next big thing and hate it: 7

Number of times that I will say, "About Schmidt is the best movie of 2003" even though it came out in 2002 and its only January third: 18

2003-01-03T08:34:00.000-08:00

Here's my New Year's rendition of two guys talking about the White Stripes show they went to last night:

"Dude, that band rocked."

"Yeah! How about that chick drummer."

"Shit yeah! I couldn't stop starring at her tits."

2003 is very lucky to carry this baggage.

2002-12-31T07:54:00.000-08:00

Peace out 2002. You were a shitty year, and i can't wait to see you die at 11:59:59 tonight.

2002-12-20T09:40:00.000-08:00

Jennifer's Annual End of Year List

Part Three:

Foods that I don't "do:" Four--Tripe, Brains, Pickled Pigs Feet, Mule Testicles

Number of times that I changed the route that I take to work to avoid routine: None. I am a robot. I cannot deviate outside of my pre-set programs.

Guns purchased: guns are scary

Guns fired in joy: guns are scary

Guns fired in anger: beware of me if i'm angry and there's a gun around. i'm scared of guns because i'm scared of what i'd do with them. heh-heh. just kidding. er. yeah.

Number of kitties held in anger: One--Soma made me so angry one day that i held him until i was no longer angry with him.

Number of times that I met Howe Gelb: if by "met" you mean "slept with"...then none. if by "met" you mean "met", then...none.

Times in Tucson: None. Times seen the great new WB show "Greetings from Tucson"--None

Meteorshowers viewed: One--when i fell down my back stairs with my bike, i was seeing stars for a long time.

Ebay sales: Big Fat Zeeeero

Ebay purchases: 15

Pieces of furniture purchased from IKEA: None. Ikea Items Purchased From Ebay--Four

Kittens held: Three

New beers tried: None.

Times Tuman's was sold: one

Springsteen albums that became "hands down, THE fucking best album ever recorded": blech

Neil Young albums that became "hands down, THE fucking best album ever recorded": eh.

Giant Sand albums that became "hands down, THE fucking best album ever recorded" plagh.

Todd Rundgren albums that became, "hands down, THE fucking best album ever recorded" three

"Sarah Smile" by Hall and Oats played: none

Number of times I cringed when I heard the words "Fast Food Nation": 12

Hours spent playing Grand Theft Auto Three and Vice City: None. Grand Turismo: Eleven

Pounds of sugar consumed: 25.24

2002-12-19T16:02:00.000-08:00

Fred's Annual End of Year List

Part Three:

Foods that I don't "do:" three - anything from an island, an archipelago, or inland Asian nation.

Number of times that I changed the route that I take to work to avoid routine: 8
Guns purchased: none

Guns fired in joy: four

Guns fired in anger: c'mon, I don’t get angry

Number of kitties held in anger: more

Number of times that I met Howe Gelb: three

Times in Tucson: one

Meteorshowers viewed: Three - Lyrids, Persids, and Leonids

Ebay sales: 58

Ebay purchases: eleven

Pieces of furniture purchased from IKEA: three

Kittens held: three

New beers tried: none

Times Tuman's was sold: one

Springsteen albums that became "hands down, THE fucking best album ever recorded": five

Neil Young albums that became "hands down, THE fucking best album ever recorded": three

Giant Sand albums that became "hands down, THE fucking best album ever recorded" two

Todd Rundgren albums that became, "hands down, THE fucking best album ever recorded" three

"Sarah Smile" by Hall and Oats played: 266

Number of times I cringed when I heard the words "Fast Food Nation": 558

Hours spent playing Grand Theft Auto Three and Vice City: four

Pounds of sugar consumed: 17.734

2002-12-19T16:00:00.000-08:00

Fred's Annual End of Year List

Part Two:

Jobs Had: 1

Panic Attacks Had: infinite

Times in the ER: none

Tattoo Appointments Made: none

Tattoo Appointments Cancelled: none

Good Ones I Let Get Away: 384,993,028

Money Lost: $36,022

Money Stolen: Before or after the fall of Enron, Tyco, and Worldcom?

Times Apartment Was Almost Broken Into: none

Times Apartment Was Almost Broken Into While I Watched the Guy Through The Window Trying to Do It: n/a

Pets Had: 1--Cory, a cat that’s even better than Soma.

Best Cd's Bought This Year:

Best Movies Seen this Year: none

Movies I Wanted to See This Year But Haven't: Well, every movie that I saw was what I wanted to see and what everyone else wants to see.

Bars Attended: uhh,

Times I Got Sick From Eating Too Much Sushi at the All You Can Eat Sushi Place: none

Times I Wish I Lived Alone: infinite.

2002-12-19T13:16:00.000-08:00

Jennifer's Annual End of Year List

Part Two:

Jobs Had: 3

Panic Attacks Had: 2

Times in the ER: 2

Tattoo Appointments Made: 3

Tattoo Appointments Cancelled: 3

Good Ones I Let Get Away: 1

Money Lost: $80

Money Stolen: $100

Times Apartment Was Almost Broken Into: 1

Times Apartment Was Almost Broken Into While I Watched the Guy Through The Window Trying to Do It: 1

Pets Had: 2--the bestest cat ever, Soma, and a horrible Schnauzer, Dieter, belonging to a skaggy roommate.

Best Cd's Bought This Year: New or Newest or Debuts by Interpol, Doug Martsch, The Race, Mercury Program, Peaches and Adult., ...Trail of Dead, Les Savy Fav. (yes, i realize that some of these perhaps didn't come out this year, but i bought them this year, so F off.)

Best Movies Seen this Year: The Princess and the Warrior, Donnie Darko, Dogtown and the Z-Boys

Movies I Wanted to See This Year But Haven't: Secretary, Punch Drunk Love, Igby Goes Down, 24 Hour Party People

Bars Attended: Innertown, Rainbo, Tumans, Gold Star, Phyllises, Estelles, The Sovereign, Get Me High, Subterranean, Club Foot, Holiday, Beachwood, Nick's, Cleo's, Redmond's, Helen's, 2 in lincoln park that i can't remember the names of, a pub in indianapolis.

Times I Got Sick From Eating Too Much Sushi at the All You Can Eat Sushi Place: 1

Times I Wish I Lived Alone: too many.

2002-12-18T13:31:00.000-08:00

Fred's Annual End of the Year List.

Part One:

Best show attended this year: Plate Position @ The Mutiny

Second Place: Rolling Stones @ Aragon Ballroom

Worst show attended this year: Cat Power at the Abbey

Cities Explored: Chicago, Philadelphia, New York

Favorite new drink: Pelligrino

Best bowling score: 0

Worst bowling score: 0

Favorite day of the year: Today is the greatest day I have ever known.

Times dumped: 0

Best party attended: Republican

Worst party attended: Republican

Times in a comedy club: 0

Times will attended a comedy club again: Finite. Infinite.

Times I will amend this list: 0

2002-12-18T13:18:00.000-08:00

Everyone is getting a can of these from me for Christmas.

Except Sean. He's getting a whole case.

2002-12-18T11:44:00.000-08:00

driving drunk is the stupidest thing ever. anyone who does it deserves what happens to them.

2002-12-18T10:59:00.000-08:00

Seans Inagural Year End List
Number of Year End Lists Made: 0
Im eating Indian food that my homebody girlfriend made. The Tandoori chicken is dry, but goes down easily with coke, the chickpeas & potatoes are tastee.
I almost went to see the ring by myself last night, but I was tired of working at my 2 jobs & i still had work to do on my ebay selling stuff. When did I get so damn busy. I havent even started x-mas chopping yet. Except for the stuff I bought at the record store for my fam.
Detroit rock city was fun. I drove drunk. Not good. Never going to be done again. It was rationalized at the time as a bed vs. floor argument, but if I had died, it wouldnt have made any difference.
I want to rock.
Also, I think Im going to buy myself an iBook for myself for x-mas. Yay.

2002-12-18T09:18:00.000-08:00

Jennifer's Annual End of the Year List.

Part One:

Best show attended this year: Tie! TransAm/Adult. And Dismemberment Plan

Second Place: Mouse on Mars at Double Door

Worst show attended this year: Cat Power at the Abbey

Cities Explored: Seattle,Indianapolis, Chicago

Favorite new drink: Vanilla Coke

Best bowling score: 174

Worst bowling score: 82

Favorite day of the year: Going to the beaches along the lakefront all the way up to Evanston, with Matt who later told me he didn’t want to see me any more.

Times dumped: Many by the same person, and 2 others. No, wait, 3 others. I think. Too many, anyway.

Best party attended: All weekend drink fest hosted by myself and my roommate.

Worst party attended: All weekend driink fest hosted by myself and my roommate.

Times in a comedy club: One

Times will attended a comedy club again: none

Times I will amend this list: a few.

2002-12-17T13:40:00.000-08:00

Woah, I was thinking about joining a fitness club this week or weekend as well. I see that the innards are starting to think alike. This makes me very happy.

I don’t know what fitness center Jennifer has joined. It would be really funny if we join the same one. Of course, I will make much faster gains and get huge faster than she could ever do.

This weekend was fun. I hung out with Sean and we went out of town and got really drunk and I had a hangover for two days.

Has anyone experimented with sleeping pills? I've been having trouble sleeping lately and I am tired of being tired. Being tired will not help me get huge.

2002-12-17T08:43:00.000-08:00

HI!!!! HOW ARE YOU?!?!?

i am okie dokie. i have nothing to report. last night, instead of buying other people presents, i bought myself a Rodan cd, a Van Pelt ep, and Buffalo '66 on VHS. i felt guilty, because that money was probably better spent buying my little sister that Jennifer Lopez cd that she "has to have! Squee!!"....but i think i enjoyed looking at Vincent Gallo more than my little sister could enjoy anything "created" by J. Lo.

Soma decided that it would be a good idea to claw the hell out of my neck and chest last night. Who is giving him these ideas?? i want answers!

Fred: Let's breed my Soma and your Cory into the cutest kittens ever!

Sean: ppbbblllllttttttt.

i joined a fitness club. how uncool is that of me? Very? fuck you.

2002-12-13T11:43:00.000-08:00

Yep, this is me. Im going to Wendy's. Do you guys want anything?

2002-12-13T11:15:00.000-08:00

i am a scenester!

How indie are you? test by ridethefader

You are so indie it hurts. You hang out with the coolest people in your city. It doesn't even bother
you that none of them know your name. You know lots of bands personally, you know a couple of
guys from We Hate The Mainstream Records, and you blag your way into getting almost
everything for free. That fanzine you write gives you extra kudos. You probably don't
even care that non-scenesters think you're a pretentious fuck.

2002-12-13T09:30:00.000-08:00

I think that me and Sean's quiz results got mixed up.

i am an indie snob!

How indie are you? test by ridethefader

You're just too cool for school, aren't you? You're pretty narrow minded
and opinionated with regards to music (and probably most other things
as well). But you're allowed to be, because you really are better
than everyone else. You take pride in obscurity.
You probably prefer vinyl too, you elitist bitch.

2002-12-12T11:53:00.000-08:00

Uhhh, I dunno, Sean. It could be you. How do we take the test?

I am going to Wendy's. Do you guys want anything?

2002-12-11T14:30:00.000-08:00

Is this me?
i am open-minded!

How indie are you? test by ridethefader

You're pretty knowledgeable about music in general. You like indie music, sure, but that's only part of it.
You'll listen to any old shit as long as it sounds good to you. You're not snobby about music at all, you
just like what you like. How boring. Curiously, this makes you popular with the opposite sex.

2002-12-11T12:01:00.000-08:00

Wait a minute. You're either a guy or a girl right? Maybe you can help me. So Jennifer takes the gender test and she's some 92% woman. Sean McCarthy takes the gender test and we find out that he's almost 90% man. I take the gender test and it tells me that I am 80% woman.

Up to this point, I've lived my life as a man: I watch football, pee standing up, make really smelly poo, I hate Destinys Child, I've never seen a Kate spade purse, and I've never menstruated. Outside of owning really high-thread count sheets, there is nothing about me that could implicate me in the cult of womanhood. So what do I do? Do I continue living a lie or do I suck it up and start living my life as a woman? What kind of woman should I be? I have always been attracted to attractive women. Should I be one of those? Any advice that you can give me would be greatly appreciated. I think that weekly tests are in order to figure out just who I really am.

2002-12-11T11:22:00.000-08:00

86% man, baby. Is that a suprise to anyone? But I am 17% gay do not forget. Is that a suprise to anyone?
I think all of those things are possible except for the deficit spending thing. Remeber, he's a Bush appointee.

2002-12-10T14:38:00.000-08:00

92% woman right here. that other 8% is probably what makes me want to make out with Milla Jovovich.

2002-12-10T13:52:00.000-08:00

TheSpark.com has determined with 80% confidence that I am, in fact, a woman.

2002-12-10T11:09:00.000-08:00

The Chicago Bears could well be the worst team in the history of the NFL. Will they get better when Jim Miller's arm falls off?

Here are some of the things that I would like to see happen before the weekend:

Sean and Jennifer really have it out and make this blog as exciting as a pitbull fight.

The new Secretary of the Treasury, Mr. Snow, tell President Bush that deficit spending is probably while lowering taxes is ultimately not good for the economy.

Peace in the Middle East.

Spend more time with the Cory the Kitty.

Sean and Jennifer to make up and make this blog as sentimental as a show on the WB.

Alright. Let's roll!

Thanks.

2002-12-06T09:59:00.000-08:00

2002-12-06T08:57:00.000-08:00

that looks like Steve Malkmus' fatter lumberjack brother.

Fred seems to be a bit bored at work today.

2002-12-06T08:45:00.000-08:00

2002-12-06T08:42:00.000-08:00

From Googlism.com

"sean michael is one of those porn stars that i never do get bored watching"

...off to do something boring and unexciting. if anyone's bored tonight, come hang out with me at my new job at the coffeeshop Filter. I love working at a place that shares a name with a 90's alt-rock band. After every drink i make i say "Nice shot, man." I'll make you a latte. but not you.

Speaking of Filter, the bass player once smoked all my roommates pot. Ass.

2002-12-06T08:32:00.000-08:00

WWGD?

2002-12-06T07:01:00.000-08:00

A Song for Sean McC: (As transcribed by Zorak)
My Heart Is Full of Hatred - by Zorak
My heart is full
Of hatred and loathing
For your ugly faces
And stupid clothing
Like I said, I hate you jerks
What a bunch of stupid jerks
I smack you up and stomp you down
I'll stomp you back to Ugly Town
Or maybe I'll kick your fat ass
I am Zorak
You are crap
Help me out, I have no clue
What the hell gave birth to you
You smell rank, like something dead
I can't tell your butt from your head (from your head)

2002-12-05T14:38:00.000-08:00

"i dont wanna say i have better things to do with my time, just different, more enjoyable things. besides, who cares what i think, certainly not at least 1/3 od this little cadre of internetters."

oh, the condescension! lover-ly! i could tear new assholes right now, but i'ma two stoopid to nough howsta dew itt!

i love my cat. and my job. and my other job i makee coffee. i'll make you some coffee. but not you.

2002-12-05T11:48:00.000-08:00

i dont wanna say i have better things to do with my time, just different, more enjoyable things. besides, who cares what i think, certainly not at least 1/3 od this little cadre of internetters.

1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? 8:13AM, 8:20AM. 8:27AM, 8:34AM & 8:41AM

2. IF YOU COULD HAVE LUNCH WITH ANYONE WHO WOULD IT BE? Space Ghost

3. GOLD OR SILVER? what?

4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA? Standing in the Shadows of Motown

5. FAVORITE TV SHOW? The Brak Show starring Fred Nelson

6. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? Who cares?

7. WHO WOULD YOU HATE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH? I could be rude to say jenn, but it really wouldnt matter because if we were in a room together she wouldnt acknowledge my presence. So i would have to say Tavis Smiley or Michael Rappaport

8. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE? Does it matter?

9. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? Ingenious bass lines

10. WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME? Pants

11.BEACH, CITY, OR COUNTRY? Shitty

12. SUMMER OR WINTER? mid-september

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? the fucking stuff with the goddamn carmel core

14. BUTTERED, SALTED, OR PLAIN POPCORN? butter half-way, salted, filled & salted again

15. FAVORITE COLOR? I answered the stupid inpiring question, i refuse to answer this one for some reason

16. FAVORITE CAR? DeLorean

17. FAVORITE SANDWICH FILLING? chicaen salad, bitch

18. TRUE LOVE? is an album title, nothing more, nothing less.

19. WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO YOU DESPISE? irrationality, brashness, self confidence

20. FAVORITE FLOWER? fuck if i know

21. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY? get a lawyer

22. FIZZY OR STILL WATER AS A DRINK? fizzy lifting drink

23. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM? whatever color black curly hairs are

24. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? why is this a question?

25. WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE TO? the bedroom

26. CAN YOU JUGGLE? IF YES HOW MANY? i can only juggle chainsaws, 4 at a time

27. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? whatever day i dont work at that damn record store

28. RED OR WHITE WINE? does gin count?

29. WOULD YOU ATTEND A NUDE EVENT? this is a very nebulous question, who is nude, am i nude? i dont do nude.

30. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? shit, i did shit

31.WHO DO YOU LEAST EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? i fucking hate these things

32.WHO IS THE PERSON YOU EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK FIRST? youre so "lucky" i filled this out you assholes. now quit bugging me, i have to finish my jello.

2002-12-04T14:34:00.000-08:00

1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? Afternoon

2. IF YOU COULD HAVE LUNCH WITH ANYONE WHO WOULD IT BE? Fred Nelson

3. GOLD OR SILVER? Uranium

4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA? It will be Jackass

5. FAVORITE TV SHOW? Anything hosted by Henry Rollins

6. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? Lovin'

7. WHO WOULD YOU HATE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH? Anyone who has read Fast Food Nation

8. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE? No. But I can touch my tongue with my nose.

9. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? Innards…and whitestuff

10. WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME? Soma

11.BEACH, CITY, OR COUNTRY? Carthage, Illinois

12. SUMMER OR WINTER? Dead of Winter

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Snow

14. BUTTERED, SALTED, OR PLAIN POPCORN? Extra butter, extra salt.

15. FAVORITE COLOR? The color of Sean's car

16. FAVORITE CAR? Sean's

17. FAVORITE SANDWICH FILLING? Whatever is in Sean's car

18. TRUE LOVE? Okay, lets go.

19. WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO YOU DESPISE? Fast Food Nation

20. FAVORITE FLOWER? Sniff Sniff

21. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY? Go out to dinner with Fred Nelson

22. FIZZY OR STILL WATER AS A DRINK? Fizzy

23. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM? The toilet is white

24. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? One, to Sean's car

25. WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE TO? Sean's car

26. CAN YOU JUGGLE? IF YES HOW MANY? More than enough

27. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? Today

28. RED OR WHITE WINE? Rose

29. WOULD YOU ATTEND A NUDE EVENT? Okay, you first

30. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? Held Cory

31.WHO DO YOU LEAST EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Sean

32.WHO IS THE PERSON YOU EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK FIRST? Sean

2002-12-04T12:59:00.000-08:00

Terrorists target IKEA.

2002-12-03T14:46:00.000-08:00

"Mututal Masturbation is soooo darn cute."--Sean McC

Sean's just pissed that no-one is fellating him.

2002-12-03T14:43:00.000-08:00

1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
When Soma bites me, or after I hit snooze for an hour.

2. IF YOU COULD HAVE LUNCH WITH ANYONE WHO WOULD IT BE?
I would like a John McEntire/Johnny Knoxville sandwich for lunch, please.

3. GOLD OR SILVER?
Teflon

4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA?
Jackass. Tonight, Punch-Drunk Love

5. FAVORITE TV SHOW?
Simpsons, The State, Kids In The Hall, Family Matters, Jackass,

6. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?
Coffee and a cigarette

7. WHO WOULD YOU HATE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH?
Sean McCarthy

8. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?
More importantly, can I touch your nose with my tongue?

9. WHAT INSPIRES YOU?
The fact that Rob Schneider has a career proves to me that I can be anything that I want to be if I become a short, hairy, unfunny man.

10. WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
Loverbuns

11.BEACH, CITY, OR COUNTRY?
Sometimes I stand on my roof at night, and watch as something seems to happen somewhere else…

12. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Fall all the way, yo.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Godiva Chocolate Truffle. By the Gallon.

14. BUTTERED, SALTED, OR PLAIN POPCORN?
Butter "Flavoring" and Salt "Product"

15. FAVORITE COLOR?
Whatever color Sean hates.

16. FAVORITE CAR?
Not Sean’s.

17. FAVORITE SANDWICH FILLING?
Heh. "filling". Mayonnaise, probably. Or egg salad. Speaking of eggs, the contestants on Fear Factor last night had to eat a raw ostrich egg. That’s 3 pounds of raw icky egg. Um, anyway…yeah…mayonnaise.

18. TRUE LOVE?
True Love, thy name is Fred "Soma" Nelson!!

19. WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO YOU DESPISE?
Weakness in myself, and others.

20. FAVORITE FLOWER?
Gerber Daisies. Or any that are given to me.

21. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY?
Buy a home in Chicago. And a loft in NYC. Quit my jobs. Go to France for a while. Buy my mom a house and new car. Set up trust funds for my brother and sisters education. Have a big party.

22. FIZZY OR STILL WATER AS A DRINK?
Still.

23. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM?
Green and brown and toothpaste stained.

24. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?
A whole 4 keys.

25. WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE TO?
San Diego. Or Paris.

26. CAN YOU JUGGLE? IF YES HOW MANY?
Yes I can. 4. That’s boys at once. I can only juggle 3 items at a time.

27. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK?
Any day that I won’t be working both of my jobs.

28. RED OR WHITE WINE?
Don’t drink anymore.

29. WOULD YOU ATTEND A NUDE EVENT?
Certainly. But, I would be clothed when I got there, and disrobe after arriving. Travelling nude just isn’t acceptable in this modern day and age.

30. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?
Puked all over. I had the blasted flu. And my stupid boyfriend at the time didn't get me anything. This year i'm planning myself a surprise party.

2002-12-02T11:46:00.000-08:00

This weekend, I consumed the following items: Turkey, Green Bean Casserole, Cranberries, Stuffing, Gravy, Corn (Maize), Bread, Pumpkin Pie, Hawaiian Punch, White Chocolate Cocoa, Hot Cocoa, Pepsi, Ragout of Duck, Hanger Steak in red wine sauce, Pork Roast, Goat Cheese, Mashed Potatoes, Broccoli, Cake, Ice Cream, Milk Shake, Pumpkin Cookies, Pumpkin Bread, Lasagna, Chili, Hot Dogs, Pickled Tomatoes, Wine Coolers, Macaroni and Cheese, French Fries, Cheeseburger, Salad, Pad Thai, Sushi, Coffee, Beer.

2002-12-02T10:38:00.000-08:00

Mututal Masturbation is soooo darn cute.

2002-12-02T08:45:00.000-08:00

Jennifer Haffner Rules The World.

2002-12-02T07:03:00.000-08:00

fred nelson is the coolest.

2002-11-26T11:46:00.000-08:00

i love snow!! yay! i would like to be at home, snuggled up in the covers, with soma lying on my tummy, purring.

i want to see interpol.

i also would like a banana. do you have a banana that i can have?

why that's very selfish of you!

donnie darko is perhaps the best movie ever.

i had a dream last night that involved a "Cheers"-era Shelley Long. Definitely not a "Money Pit" Shelley Long. Definitely "Cheers" Shelley.

I spent $50 bucks last night on x-mas decorations. My roommate informed me that pinapples and dog toys are not appropriate x-mas decorations, but i think he was just fooling around with me.

I also got a Krusty the Klown watch. it goes "hoo hoo hoo ha ha!"

Fred owns red pants. Fred likes to pretend he's Meg White, because he's jealous that Meg gets all of Jack White's lovin'.

I would like to buy a joy division album today.

2002-11-26T11:01:00.000-08:00

its snowing today! you know what this means, don't you? cory gets to go sledding! i like to tape her to a sled and tow it behind my truck over speedbumps and pot holes and curbs. she loves it so much. she meows and screeches like there's no tomorrow! she is small and gets cold really easily, so afterwords i warm up some tuna for her to eat while i drink my hot cocco. aren't kitties wonderful?

2002-11-25T09:45:00.000-08:00

hello. i am stupid. how are you?

2002-11-22T12:01:00.000-08:00

i could only be truly happy if i had a Peanut Butter Crunch tree in my backyard. The Cap'n could be the gardener that would lovingly tend to it, and pick me bushels of PBC's, as their known in my household.

YARGH!

2002-11-22T11:45:00.000-08:00

wocka wocka wocka!!

hello all!

i have a kitten named soma. he is of the crazy eyed variety. he didn't want to cuddle with me when i got home from the dismemberment plan show last night. he wanted to bite my nose. so i told him to take his crazy eyes elsewhere, lest i throw him skyward. and he did. which is really neither here nor there, because i wouldn't have thrown him skyward. i'm all about the empty threats.

hmpf!

I would really, really like to go to the Tortoise and Interpol shows at the Metro.

2002-11-22T09:15:00.000-08:00

Happy World Philosophy Day!.

2002-11-20T11:17:00.000-08:00

Songs about telephones are pretty rad, huh?

Jenny Jenny, who can I turn to?
You gave me somethin' I can hold on to
I know you think I'm like the others before
who saw your name and number on the wall

Jenny, I got your number
I need to make you mine
Jenny, don't change your number
867 - 5309, (867 - 5309)
867 - 5309, (867 - 5309)

Jenny Jenny, you're the girl for me
Oh, you don't know me
But you make me so happy
I tried to call you before
But I (6)lost my nerve
I tried my imagination
But I was discouraged

I've got it (I've got it) I've got it
I got your number on the wall
I've got it (I've got it) I've got it
For a good time (for a good time, call ......)

Tell me, just who can I turn to? (867 - 5309)
For the price of a dime I can always turn to you (867 - 5309)
867 - 5309, (867 - 5309)
867 - 5309, (867 - 5309)

- Tommy Tutone, 867-5309 (Jenny)

Hello, it's me I've thought about us for a long, long time
Maybe I think too much but something's wrong
There's something here that doesn't last too long
Maybe I shouldn't think of you as mine

Seeing you
Or seeing anything as much as I do you
I take for granted that you're always there
I take for granted that you just don't care
Sometimes I can't help seeing all the way through
It's important to me that you know you are free
'Cause I never want to make you change for me

Think of me
You know that I'd be with you if I could
I'll come around to see you once in a while
Or if I ever need a reason to smile
And spend the night if you think I should

- Todd Rundgren, Hello it's Me

Girl on the phone keeps a-ringing back
Her voice is smooth but the tone is flat
She's telling me this and she's telling me that
She talks about me and I must agree with what she says about me
About how nice I can be, but it makes no difference to my mind

Girl on the phone keeps a-ringing back
She knows all my details, she's got my facts
She tells me my height and she knows my weight
She knows my age and says she's knows fate

And I must say , it's logical
What foresight she must have
I've got to meet her whenever I get time

Says she knows everything about me
Every word I've ever said
Every book I've ever read
She told me that we met along time ago
I can't think when but she should know

Girl on the phone keeps a-ringing back
Knows where I get my shirts and where I get my pants
Where I get my trousers where I get socks
My leg measurements and the size of my cock

And I must say it's unnerving

To think that she knows me
Knows me so well, better than anyone
Better than myself

Says she knows everything about me
Every record I've listened to
Every window that I've looked through
She told me that we met along time ago
I can't think when but she should know

Girl on the phone keeps a-ringing back
She's telling me this and she's telling me that.
Girl on the phone keeps a-ringing back
She's telling me this and she's telling me that.
Girl on the phone keeps a-ringing back

Paul Weller, Girl on the Phone

2002-11-19T13:53:00.000-08:00

After talking with Jennifer (who was never a part of http://blackstuff.blogspot.com) who told me that if I don’t let the little kitty that lives in my apartment go, she will make me walk the plank to my death. I don’t have much choice, so the kitty will have to be set free to go about her cat ways. This will make room for a new kitty with psychedelic eyes that constantly change color.

Sean (who also didn't have anything to do with http://blackstuff.blogspot.com) lives with a kitty named Rembrandt. Rembrandt is neither male nor is she a 17th Century Dutch artist. Nevertheless, Sean wants to play Grand Theft Auto: Vice City worse than anyone that I've ever seen. GTAVC offers some distinct advantages over previous GTAs, including but not limited to a cheat-code that makes all the women topless.

2002-11-15T12:44:00.000-08:00

This blog will serve as a hommage to the recently departed "guts...and blackstuff" which was one of the most popular blogs in Blogger's history. The owners of "blackstuff" who shall remain nameless, Jennifer and Sean, decided that it would be cute to kill the blog by rather dubious means. After torturing it, "i just tossed
guts...over the railing of my third floor porch. it must have gotten dragged off by rats, because it wasn't in the back yard in the morning." So where do we go from here? Out to dinner? Non, merci. J'ai deja manger de la pizza. Instead, I would like to do my best to carry on where the nameless owners (Jennifer and Sean) left off. Stay tuned for some of the most riveting blogging ever brighten your screen.